Feelings of Home Alone 2

same event of the year...
and twice I've been alone at home ( Padang )
to say its not fun I don't feel any,
to say its boring I just get the busy feeling
what did i feel anyway
sometimes i just think my friends was right once...
I'm just like no feelings...
or I have too many feelings that until i don't know how to show it
only thing I do most is smile or expressionless...

wanted to try new stuff while alone but don't know what to do...
wanted to read a book, but I don't have the will
wanted to go out for a walk, my feet like a thousand pound heavy
so what I want actually, I don't know -_-

hoping someone will guide me but it seems I'm too dependent on hoping...
but without hoping I live in despair
but can I live without despair~~

so now I'm just doing what i want to pass my times
with lot of things not solved
piling up high like a mountain
and let my sleep wash away everything @_@
waiting the return of my savior ( friends )
so that at least something ( happiness ) is store in my empty brain...