can't even leave a post about my own feeling.. :(
bad feeling about other always come because i can't supress it..
when guilt took over me.. silent always the best medicine for me..
still trying to act dunno..
sorry for all the ill manner and same feeling will come back just the matter of time..
but for the time being everything is supress by guilts...
i hope there's a guild nearby that can store and share my guilt..
can't find the person tat can share my feeling without letting the whole world know..
not even the friend i usually hang out with...
what prove i need to know that person can keep my secret? i don't know because i need to tell a secret then observe i think.. but i often forget stuff easily.. even my secret become not a secret later.. so wat secret i have.. only guilt will sweep everything away..
1 conclusion when guilt come in my way.. apologise to the person that i feel i make then sad or miserable, angry or emotioned..( my best friend teach me: if you think you did something wrong just apologise to them, then hope they'll forgive you. you did your part the rest is up to that person)
how long i can last.. no one know.. until one day i lost my sense maybe, degree of reasoning hit ZERO..
tell someone i like and sorry before anything happen would be the best way.. movie teach us a lot..
better not to regret anything later..
(i'll continue believe and do as long as i remember how to do it)
recite sutra maybe can help me a bit..
amitabha
